


“I'd rather have a cigarette kill my lungs, than have you break my heart.”

by yankeemiho



Category: Nogizaka46 (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:08:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24129451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yankeemiho/pseuds/yankeemiho
Summary: Even at the end of the world, Miona finds Asuka.
Relationships: Saito Asuka/Hori Miona
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	“I'd rather have a cigarette kill my lungs, than have you break my heart.”

Asuka stands at the edge of the roof of the abandoned apartment building, looking out towards the horizon and then down at the busy street. It’s late Autumn, the sun is setting a little earlier than it always has and it’s beginning to get colder faster in Tokyo. She stretches her arms out as far as she can, feeling the wind whip around her sides as the faint sound of traffic below her slowly fades into the background of her thoughts. In her top 5 fears, drowning undoubtedly would be at the top but falling from high places makes it in at number 3. Heights have always frightened her, but not here, when she feels like she’s standing at the very end of this profoundly endless world. Her fear of heights is the least of her worries right now. 

If she wanted to, she could jump. Nothing could stop her from ending it all.

“Yo!”

Maybe one thing.

She turns around to meet Miona’s eyes. Just the sight of the other girl lifts her spirits, a soft smile beginning to tug at the corners of her lips. Not that her spirits were down in the first place, she always feels like this.

Despite the large grin on her face, Miona’s hands are placed on her knees, her body slightly bent over. Her bangs messy and all over her face, the girl’s chest was heaving, probably from climbing 13 flights of stairs.

“I’ve been looking for you. Your phone is off again.”

Miona takes her own phone out and waves it around. Asuka reaches into her own pocket and pulls it out to find that it really was off. She clasps her hands together and bows her head in apology to which Miona quickly rebuts.

“No no no, it’s okay if it’s off. I don’t mind it, either way I always find you right?”

Miona gives a double thumbs up in reassurance, making Asuka grin, returning her own double thumbs up.

“Anyways, I was wondering where you could be. Then I remembered you love being here, so I took the 9, you know the one that comes every 15 minutes?”

Asuka gives a small nod.

“Yeah I took that one and I ran all to this building and then all the way up the stairs, you know hard it is to run up 13 flights of stairs?!”

A giggle almost escapes Asuka’s mouth from all the crazy arm movements Miona is making to express herself. She considers making a joke about how it’s the lung cancer catching up to her that tiring her out but decides against it.

“Well, tada,” Miona stands up straight again and lets out a big breath of air. “Now I’m here. You don’t mind it, right?”

Asuka shakes her head, hopping off the edge to walk closer to the girl. She stops right in front of her and they spend a few seconds just looking at each other. Asuka’s close enough that she can catch the floral notes of the perfume Miona’s using to cover up the smell of smoke. It must be new because the scent isn’t one that Asuka recognises. She wonders what happened to the last one.

“Hey,” Miona whispers.

It’s a few more seconds of silent gazing before Asuka verbally greets her back.

“Hi.”

No one _gets_ to see Miona as up close as Asuka does. Miona wouldn't let them. No one _gets_ sees how bloodshot her eyes really are when she takes out her contacts or the eyebags that are hidden under the layers of concealer. No one _gets_ smells the fresh mint on her breath and the slightest scent of cigarette smoke that she’s so desperately trying to hide. No one _dares_ to look but no one notices because those things just aren’t very Miona. They just don’t fit well with Miona’s image. Asuka doesn’t fit well with Miona’s image. 

They sit down in the only shadowy patch they could find, leaning their backs against the wall, and staring ahead, catching a glimpse of the city’s skyline.

Miona takes out a packet of cigarettes and a lighter and raises her eyebrow at Asuka in a silent offer. As usual, Asuka declines and just watches Miona light her own smoke up. 

Asuka remembers the first time she saw Miona smoke. When she asked why, the older girl gave a really vague answer like,  _ “ _ _ I'd rather have a cigarette kill my lungs, than have you break my heart.” _ Asuka never really understood what she meant then but the way she laughed afterwards struck something in her.

The two of them continue to sit in silence as they watch the smoke fade out into nothing as it blows away. Asuka wonders if one day they’ll happen to them too.

“It's so scary being up so high,” Miona mumbles as she shuffles over and presses her body as close as she could to Asuka’s side. Asuka leans her head on Miona’s shoulder in response and grabs her hand. Their fingers interlock, Asuka’s hand slotting in perfectly between Miona's long fingers and it's almost as if their hands were moulded by God herself if they were made to fit each other.

“What do you love so much about being here?” Miona asks, seemingly to be always the one with the most words. Her thumb begins to rub over Asuka’s hand whether she’s aware of it or not. Maybe it's routine to her. Maybe it's just her body responding subconsciously to an action that she does so frequently. 

Asuka takes a breath and a minute. A minute to think about her answer. Not that she needed to think about it. Despite already knowing what to say, she still likes to take her time to respond.

She turns her head to the side and her eyes trace Miona’s features. She slowly goes over each detail and drinks it all in as if this would be the last ever time she could see her. The way Miona’s bangs are tousled and how they cover her eyebrows. The way that Miona’s lips are slightly parted because she’s breathing from her mouth. How tall the bridge of her nose is. Her brown eyes, the most ordinary looking colour of eyes there is. But because they are Miona’s, they're the most unique pair of eyes Asuka has ever looked into. Asuka wishes Miona never wears coloured contact lenses again.

Asuka smiles and Miona knows.

“That even at the end of the world, you'll always find me.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> twt is @risaponist come say hi


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